Triggers

"That must've been really terrible." - it was.
"I could never do what you did." - you could.
"Was it awful?" - yes.
"You're so brave." - i was only doing my job.
"You should be so proud." - i should.
"You're a hero." - i'm just a man.
"I can't imagine what that must've been like." - not anymore.

I'm sitting in a Coffee Shop right now. People are talking to each other about all kinds of different things. One man is speaking some foreign language I can't recognize. A woman blabbers on her cell phone about what her listener 'should' be doing. One man silently reads a book, another has two laptops in front of him - two.

I love places like this. I feel cut off from the world. The news of the universe can't find me here. For a moment I'm at peace.

But the moment is fleeting.

I look out the window to the street below. It could be the downtown street of any town in New England; they're basically as interchangeable as Eli Whitney's parts. Normally, this could be calming. Not anymore.

Now I look out the window, I see people window shopping, girls holding on to the arms of their boyfriends. I see a woman pushing a baby carriage. I'll assume she's a mom given the sight.

Then, suddenly, from up behind her and passing on the right is a jogger. He is lean, long, been doing this a good long time. He's not just out because the weather is finally warm. He's out regardless of the temperature. He's out on a mission.

And then I see it.

The news footage blends and twists it's way into my vision. I can't see the lines of what is real and what is not.

The hairs on the back of my neck adjust themselves as I gasp for a breath I can't find. I have to sit up and stretch my back, adjust my posture, change everything about my mannerisms.

I can feel my face flush. My jaw clenches. My hands start to tremble. My mouth becomes dry.

This is how it starts. And it's long from over.

It's like having a headache when you're watching a movie while wearing those awful 3D glasses. I pinch the bridge of my nose as though it'll somehow help.

I know it won't.

The room around me falls silent even as I look and see everyone still making noises I should be hearing. The radio overhead seems to slow it's tempo and dissipates into nothing.

An unmistakable heat overcomes my body. And I'm gone.

I'm back in a place I don't want to be. I'm wearing a uniform I no longer own. Freddy Krueger should be jumping out from behind a pipe somewhere. But he's not. I'm in my own personal nightmare.

I'm in a desert city, don't ask where, it doesn't matter. I'm watching myself for this omniscient place, but I can feel everything that's happening. The situation is bad. Worse even. For lack of a less obvious word, it's traumatic.

Hell could take a few pointers.

As soon as it's happened, it's ending. I find my way back to the chair in the coffee shop. My eyes are wide, burning, bloodshot. I realize the music is still playing. Then I hear a voice, two, three.

"Hey ... Hey ... Dude, are you okay?" My eyes focus on the man now sitting next to me. He's speaking to me. I realize he looks concerned.

I realize I must look somehow 'not okay.'
I become embarrassed; self-conscious, weak.
I can't help myself.

And it started with a man running on the street.
My mind took me to Boston.
Boston brought me back to Iraq.
Iraq was eight years ago.

This is my every day.

It's that simple for my mind to make these connections; to bridge unrelated thoughts like two sides of a river.

Careful of your audience

I went to visit my mom at work for lunch today. In her break room, the news was reporting on the horrible Amber Alert-turned-tragedy that took place in CT last night.

As a resident of CT, may I first say that it makes me increasingly uncomfortable that these terrible events continue to occur, and seem to be happening on a much more quick pace.

The fact that children are involved is quite possibly the most tragic of facts.

But here's the thing.

"It's so sad that these people are so sick. They should just stay on their meds because they OBVIOUSLY work so well.

I mean, a healthy person would just never do this. Once in a while there's an OJ (Simpson), but they don't always get away with it. These people are just so sad."

That was the cruel and insensitive and horrible rant made by one of mom's coworkers.

First, can I just point out mom works in the Medical Field, so nobody employed therein is lacking in education.

But how fucking ignorant can a person get?

I'll try, if I may, to equate the stupidity of this woman's statements, with a random concept that popped into my head.

I'll use dieting.

"It's so sad that fat people are so fat. They should just stay on their diets because they work SO WELL.

I mean, a thin person would NEVER go into a McDonalds and order a super-sized meal, eat the whole thing and not gain an ounce. Fat people are just so gross."

For the record: I often eat at fast food restaurants, and when I do, I ALWAYS order a Large meal.

Beautiful Creatures: REVIEW

WATCH THE TRAILER

READ THE BOOK

She's the new girl in town.  He's the all-star, all-american boy-next-door.  He nearly runs her over while driving through the rain.  To make amends, he drives her home.  They fall in love, and live happily ever after. 

yeah, right.

She's the only new girl in town I've ever seen on screen where the mean girls hate her before they even know she's the girl they want to hate.  He's the only boy next door who looks great running for fun in the rain, AND reading through the banned book section of the library while wearing his expertly selected Ray Ban glasses.  

They truly are BEAUTIFUL CREATURES.  Based on the Novel of the same name by British Authors Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl, our romantic affair takes place through the eyes not of our Tragic Heroine, but our Everyman.

The story is set in Gatlin, SC, a fictitious Civil War-era town, that is so deeply rooted in Religion, it's almost silly. The city is "so far away from Charleston, they can't even get a Starbucks," and so far removed from the line of demarcation of Church and State, the viewer is forced to see what a tragic reality the movie presents. (Watching a teacher attempt to break up a group of girls from praying in the classroom of the High School is almost saddening).

So we meet Ethan Wate (Alden Ehrenreich), a true Romantic.  He wakes every night in a sort of West Side Story fog, with the sensation that something's coming. He's a true Rebel Without a Cause, doing everything he can to ensure his escape from nowhere.  

Junior Year begins for Ethan. Enter Lena Duchannes (an excellent Alice Englert), the girl of his dreams - no, really, she's the girl he keeps seeing when he's sleeping.  Is this a new form of stalking, we haven't heard much about lately? Slumber Stalking?

Anyway, she's a quiet girl with big beautiful eyes; she carries with her a sad sense that she's already got the cards stacked against her, sporting your typical misunderstood girl look a la Ally Sheedy, and an atypical tattoo on her hand. She might as well have a pony tail, paint-stained overalls and black framed glasses.

There's an awesome parallel reference to be made here.  The class is told to read "To Kill a Mockingbird," which is both cool and hilarious, mostly because it's a Ninth Grade reading level book, but because the first topic of discussion is its secretive neighborhood character Boo Radley.   

Get it?  If you don't, its probably because you skipped that one Freshman Year - shame on you.  

Audience's will love Ethan's sweet, puppy dog love and devotion; it's roots are so honest and wrenching, audiences won't know how to deal.  And to boot, his perfected SmallTown Southern accent will make most women, and some men wish he were moving bales of hay in nothing more than some sweaty over-alls for 95 minutes. 

SPOILER: it never happens. Sorry.

The pair finally cross paths.  Sparks fly, but Lena's incredibly eccentric and overbearing uncle Macon Ravenwood (Jeremy Irons) forbids the romance.  It turns out Lena isn't all she seems.  Like, not even remotely close. 

Turns out Lena, along with her very distinguished lineage are Casters.  What's a caster?  I'll make it easy:

"Calling a Caster a witch is like calling Smart people 'nerds' or athletic people 'jocks'," - NERDLY!

So, in Lena's world, on a girl's 16th birthday, she is claimed by one of the two opposing magical forces, the light or the dark.  What's worse, the women in Lena's family are victims to a terrible curse.  Should Lena fall in love with a mortal before her birthday, the dark will claim her.

Meanwhile, the wholly evil Saraphine (Emma Thompson) invades the body of the town's hat-wearing bible-thumping Evangelist, Mrs. Lincoln.  Her intention is to keep watch over Lena and ensure her transition.

So it stands, Lena will either be claimed for the dark, or, she'll be claimed for the dark.  Pretty good odds, huh? Not according to Ethan.  In what is arguably the most romantic monologue ever proclaimed by a 16-year old, he forces his way through a protective charm, marches straight to Lena and vows to stand by her side because he KNOWS a girl like Lena is good, that their love is real, and that she would never do anything to harm him.

It is at this moment I would like to point out - WHAT VAMPIRE EVER SAID ANYTHING LIKE THAT?

As the days count down, and Lena fears the inevitable, they turn to Amma (Viola Davis), Ethan's caretaker.  It seems there is much information she can share with the pair. 

I would be remiss to discuss one additional character with you.  Lena's incredibly over-sexual cousin, Ridley.  If you ask me, she is intended to depict what will happen to Lena should the Dark claim her.  What is that, exactly? Well, you get a Cherry Red Mercedes convertible, the ability to wear negligee as outerwear, fiery eyes - OH, and the ability to shed that image of "i'm the dead girl from Mystic River," and "I was Christine in the AWFUL Phantom of the Opera musical film," AND "I was Jake Gyllenhaal's nerdy girlfriend in The Day After Tomorrow."

Yep, that's right, it's freaking Emmy Rossum looking sexy as HELL, literally.

With there being such a heavy emphasis on events that took place during the Civil War, and the whole underlying issue of banned books,  it leads me to believe the movie (and book franchise) has something to say about letting people form their own opinions and make mistakes, or 'history will repeat itself.'  It's kind of a lesson we don't see much anymore.

And that's really all I can tell you.  I implore you - GO SEE THIS MOVIE.  It's beautiful locations, interior settings, special effects are only the tip of the iceberg.  

a very special message ...

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY VERY BEST FRIEND.

Aimée M Nadow-Campbell

It only takes 10 seconds to make a memory. I'm so glad to know you and share our lives!

come what may.

the return of SMASH

Before I begin: Did Y'all know SMASH was a novel?  Cause I didn't either!  In 1980, Garson Kanin published a novel loosely based on his experiences during the 1964 Musical production of Funny Girl.  His novel and the television program follow a similar series of events creating a musical about iconic women.  For TV, Creator Theresa Rebeck replaces Vaudeville Star Nora Bayes with our Marilyn Monroe.  Click the link for more about the NOVEL. 

Second thing: If you were a fan of Season 1 and really wish Bombshell were a Musical - well, NBC has a huge present for you.  Today, in-stores and on iTunes, NBCStudios released the complete cast recording of BOMBSHELL.

Last thing before we begin.  If you havent seen the season premiere yet, you really should.  Go ahead, watch it RIGHT HERE. I'll wait.

all caught up? great!  Awesome!  Let's do this:

SMASH 2.1 "On Broadway"

The one positive thing about waiting for what feels like FOR-EVER for the return of what is arguably one of TV’s best shows of last year is the fact that we, the viewers, get nearly 13 consecutive weeks of uninterrupted fun, flash, and filth.

We pick up precisely where any Broadway ‘Bombshell’ (forgive the pun, sometimes it’s too easy) would leave off – In Boston.  Karen (American Idol runner-up Katharine McPhee) apologizes to her audience for keeping them waiting in yet another number that makes even Wicked seem like community theater.  Well Karilyn, you’d better be sorry to us, because everyone seems to spend some amount of time apologizing to you. 

Your “I’m in tech,” excuse worked so well on your fiancée, Dev, that he exited upstage (from the whole series) after he ushered himself in on the Blondeshell, Ivy Lynn (the actual Broadway beauty, Megan Hilty).  While I was glad to learn she didn’t go all Ivy, Interrupted with her pills and liquor, a part of me thinks it might’ve made for a better plotline.

Summary, Karen hates Ivy, Ivy is jealous, AND neither girl can keep a man.  I recommend these girls watch a few episodes of GIRLS and realize just how much they should just be friends already.

Lights up on Karen going on a date with director to the stars, Derek Wills (Jack Davenport) – yes, that’s right, a date.  Apparently as much as she hates Ivy, she’s not prone to being a designer imposter.  Derek’s next project is a revival of The Wiz ---

 ---wait, you’ve heard of this show?? No way.  A REAL musical is happening on a show about MUSICALS!!!?! Well played, SMASH, well played ---

Anyways, the show is set to star Smash’s version of Audra McDonald, Veronica Moore (Idol finalist, Dreamgirl, and Oscar winner, JenniferHudson), who will also be portraying the role of Karen’s fame mentor.  “Protect the work,” she says.

You want MY advice, Karen?  DON'T DATE YOUR DIRECTOR!

Elsewhere in the limelight we find Tom and Julia (Tony Award winner Christian Borle, and everyone’s favorite GINGER Hag Debra Messing) reading and not-reading the reviews of their theater lovechild, (a headline in the newspaper ever-so-delicately labels it a ‘BOMB-Shell’).  We also sadly (but not really sadly) learn that Julia’s on-stage fling with Michael Swift has gone dark just as quickly as we see the curtain fall on her marriage to Frank.  So long, Brian D’Arcy James.  Maybe they’ll write a book for Shrek 2, the musical.

So for now Will&Grace - rather, Tom and Julia are roomies, commiserating that neither one of THEM can keep a man. 

Martini-Slinging Eileen Rand (Academy Award winner AnjelicaHouston) really needs a new assistant since someone keeps telling her DINOSAUR of an ex-husband, Jerry, her whereabouts whenever the lady has a meeting.  I mean, this guy must have taken notes from J. Edgar Hoover on how to stalk people.  He wants to cash in on Bombshell so badly, it’s just kinda sad. 

Rather than ramble through what happens next, I’ll just break it down into some key points: 

• Jerry’s thumbs are so big, I’m amazed he can text, but he does, and tells his 555-**** friend to go ahead with ‘the plan.  He intends to sabotage Eileen and her boyfriend, the apparent drug lord with TONS of money.  If HE gets locked up, even EILEEN will lose her man. PS - can we create a NEW fake number system, or am i the only one who hates how obvious the unreal numbers are?
• Derek learns that more than a few former females are making allegations of Sexual Harassment after the less than lovely Rebecca Duvall (Uma Thurman) claims it was the other kind of peanuts that drove her from the Boston run of Bombshell.
• Jerry’s plan comes into light when we learn the government is looking into the finances behind Bombshell and puts the show temporarily on hold.
• Ivy apologizes to Karen – again – but this time, not for undermining Karen’s career, not for sleeping with Dev, not for anything that REALLY matters, but for why she did it: Jealousy.
• Karen meets a few new boys, including new eye candy Jimmy Collins (Film and Broadway beau Jeremy Jordan) a stand-offish bartender/douche/composer.  He comes on a little hard and fast, and poor Karen hasn’t a clue what to do with him. 

So we are left in a lurch.  Will Bombshell make it to Broadway? Will Karen forgive Ivy? Will anyone keep their man? Thank goodness we have a whole season to figure it out, right?

Now, lets talk music:

“Cut, Print … Moving On” – Our welcome back for Season.  Katharine McPhee proves just why she’s perfectly cast as Karen, and why audiences would LOVE her as Marilyn.  The number’s sweeping melody and quick pace makes it easily one of the best Bombshell Numbers

“Mama Makes Three” – A peek into Veronica Moore’s production of Beautiful, J-HUD belts out this perfect Motown-esque number as if she walked off the set of Dreamgirls and right onto our TV screens.  She sings, we listen. 

“Don’t Dream It’s Over” – Ivy’s moving forward, with or without Marilyn on her resume.  Her wrenching cover of the Crowded House classic makes us wonder, WHY WASN’T IT HER?  She’s just so damned talented – there’s no way she belongs in the chorus.

“On Broadway” – Karen and Veronica team up to distract the press to what’s really happening at Eileen’s soiree and make a bluesy sleeper of a song still a little boring.  I mean, these girls can sing – MAKE THEM SING!  We love them both, this number is good, but it could have been GREAT.

“Broadway, Here I Come” – Karen ‘forgets’ her cell phone on the bar top at 1am.  Upon her return to fetch it, we hear Jimmy playing out his soul on the ivory keys with what is my, and itunes, most favorite new song.  Welcome to the show, Jeremy Jordan. 

Next Up: Episode 2 “The Fallout” - Coming SOON.

I mean, DUH.

He's a GINGER

...so, do you come here often? 

probably not, seeing as this is the first of what feels like many, many postings about all the things that make me nerdly. 

i know what you're thinking nerdly isn't even a word. to you guys i say this - my name is William, like Shakespeare. i am in NO WAY attempting to equate myself to Bard status - yet - however, he took the time to masterfully create over 100 words, most of which are still in common english language usage.

so who are you to criticize me for making up my own self-identifier?  ya don't like it? then turn back now, man, 'cause you ain't seen nothing yet.  literally, you haven't seen a thing, because this is my first post.

but there will be more - much, much more: photos, videos, rants and raves on anything i care about, movies, music, theater, books.  you might even see some horrible grammar-neglected pages on things that really, really piss me off.  

you won't like me when i'm angry.  you might like it when i'm sarcastic. i hope you like it when i'm enthusiastic.  after all, who would want to write something nobody wants to read? (my apologies to Tolstoy)

so that's it for now.  if you think of something you want me to write about - send me a message.  and for the love of all that is awesome, leave comments, criticize me, i can handle it.